In class (But not really)

I’ve never been a person to give my full attention to a teacher while in class. It’s a bad habit, I know, and I’m not entirely sure where I picked it up. All I know is that I’ve gotten worse about it. Why pay attention during class when I can view the power points online or read the book and still keep an ‘A’ in the class?


I know I’m not the only person, friends constantly talk about how they didn’t pay attention in class. “Beat my high score on candy crush in Art History 2012 today!” “Bought way too many clothes… it was a better economics lesson than the one I should’ve been listening to.” “Fell asleep, missed the entire series on Chaplin in my film history class. Whoops”.


‘Adults’ tend to talk about how it is disruptive to class, and rude to the teacher, and in all honesty, they are right. We are ignoring the people who take the time to try and teach about a topic they are passionate about. We take their passion and throw it back in their face because we don’t care and we only have one more class to complete that marketing minor.


But classes like this – the ones where we can sit in class, take away nothing, and still pass – are detrimental to ourselves as well. Think of the tuition we shell out. I am paying $500 to sit in a class and think about how much I don’t want to be there. Yea, I know, I feel like this at work as well, but at least work is an effort to get me out of debt as opposed to put me in debt.

I am entering debt further by the minute, bored by it, scared by it, and in no way prepared for it. Where are the classes that will teach me about a mortgage? How is it I can be expected to have $30,000 in debt, but I’m unable to get a credit card and begin building my credit? Why does everyone talk about paying off loans, but no one tells me how?

All of these questions I have taken the time to answer on my own (Admittedly mortgages still befuddle me, but maybe it’s a learn by doing sort of deal). I still have a ton of doubts about my future, and everyone says that I’m supposed to have things figured out by now. I have no job lined up for next May, I make only a little more than minimum wage, my only job experience is in sales, for all intents and purposes I am fully unprepared for the life I wish to have after graduation. At least on paper.

Now that I’m to the end of this, I’m not quite sure where I started out, how I got here, and how to end this. Which I guess is similar to my life at the moment. I am worried. I am scared. And I don’t think I’ve ever been as ready for something as I’ve felt now. I don’t know what I’m ready for, but I feel prepared, even if I can’t prove it. I refuse to be told that just because I still have questions I am obviously unprepared.

I think the fact that I have questions, and am currently asking them, means that not only am I trying to prepare myself, but I am ready and able to accept the responsibilities that comes with the real world. That in itself, gives me the confidence to keep asking questions.


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